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hotel-job:

DRUNK GUEST: Ok, (looks at my nametag then says my name incredibly sarcastically as if I have already pissed her off), is that the only bar you got in the hotel?
CONCIERGE: Yes. That’s the only one.
(Drunk guest rolls her eyes into the back of her pickled brain.)
DRUNK GUEST: Only one bar? That’s…

slangwang:

i imagine it goes a little something like this

rapewhistled:

*16 year old girl voice* um shut the fuck up thanks

minimalyzed:

replacing my heart with another liver so i can drink more and care less

punnier:

that fufu lame shit, i aint with it

i’ll send some shots at yo fitted

image

swag bitch